All You Need Is Love?

If music be the food of love then give me some bloody headphones! As Valentine's Day fast approaches I thought it would be appropriate to approach the sticky subject of love. Well only sticky if you have bought your partner the right present I guess.

Now I'm not going to bang on about whether I believe in Valentine's Day or the commercialisation of love, I simply want to express my feelings about L O V E.

Firstly even the most cynical and cold hearted of us singletons has to admit that 14th February does nothing but emphasise that we don't have anyone special to shower with adoring gifts and symbols of our love. Instead we are left to brush past the crowds queuing with cards, flowers and boxes of chocolates in Tesco to get to the frozen food aisle to get our mircowave meal........for one!

Love is a funny old word. Men alot greater than me have tried, and failed, to define exactly what it means. It is a word that is also often overused. On a daily basis I express my love for Wayne Rooney, KFC and the blonde girl that works on the hat stall in the middle of the Mall. Does it mean I actually love these things? No. Well maybe KFC.

The problem is everyone is different and everyone defines love in their own way. In my opinion people express love in order to emphasise that they like something more than they like anything else. This is not to say that loving is just liking something alot but I believe people often confuse their own feelings. To love is beyond definition. It's not something that you make a conscious or deliberate decision to do, it just happens, and it does not need to be explained or justified, nor does it need to be readily expressed in order to make it more real or believable.

We are told in nearly every song and movie that love is what we should aspire to. We will be happy if we have love because it is the greatest thing in the world. We are told that it can make us feel better than anything else in the world or can cause greater pain than anything we have ever experienced. But does being force fed this opinion pressure us to try and find love? Or cause us to categorise feelings as love when they aren't in a vain attempt to have a 'complete' life?

Despite the cliches like "you only know what love is when you find it" we have all experienced love. Personally I love a few people unequivocally. My Mum, Dad and Sister. I'm not sure whether this is because they are my family or the fact that they are Holdens so they are instantly loveable. Everyone has at least one person in their life that they love.

Some might argue that loving family and friends is not the same as it is platonic love but I believe all love is truly platonic. You aren't physically attracted to your husband or wife because you love them. Just like you do not automatically love someone you desire physically. Love transcends physical desire, it is more about a mental connection. That's why Fred and Rose West loved each other, they were both completely mental.

There are some great quotes when it comes to best explaining love, but there are also some terrible ones. One of the most infamous is Alfred, Lord Tennyson's "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all". Really Freddy? It's better to suffer the indignity of sulking for 3 months, listening to Damien Rice, and watching Richard Curtis films instead of actually living a bit. I think you'll find "ignorance is bliss" Lord Tennyson.

My personal favourite is a gem from Socrates (I believe it was the philosopher not the Brazilian footballer). In an attempt to sum up love in a heart rendering few words he said "The hottest love has the coldest end." For me it sounds more like he is describing having sex in the bath.

So as the masses buy what they consider to be romantic presents to convey their love we should ask whether romance and romantic gestures are just a cheap way of feigning love. Surely true unconditional love is enough!