Meat and Two Veg

In my previous post I promised my blog fans news on my new radio show. Well here it is folks, buckle up!

My meteoric rise from infamous blogger to world famous DJ has been fast and eventful.

The University of Bedfordshire is one of only a handful of universities that have a radio station which broadcasts throughout the local area. And with modest output comes even more modest repsonsibility. The station and its listeners demand the best, and that's where I come in.

RadioLab (yes you knew a quirky station name was coming) is run by third year media students who are acutely aware that for every informative and intense Hungarian dance music show you need a bit of light relief.

Meat and Two Veg are that light relief. We are the happy ending to your Thai massage.

Of course I am the Meat. The juicy joint that has the consumers salivating from their ears. Then there are my Two Vegs. Niall and Welshie.

If you haven't heard the show before it would be fair to say that if the show, or even if pictures of us three, are anything to go by then most would assume that I am participating in some kind of care in the community project.

The vegs are adaptly named. They are naive youngsters caught in the headlights of showbiz and my constant on-air lecturing and exclaimations of despair at them both make for radio gold.

Welshie is a law-onto-himself. Famous for his Welsh heritage and egg-shaped head he can often be found fiddling with the wrong nobs, thus creating havoc, or struggling to suppress the obvious anger when me and Niall delight in his lack of common sense.

Niall keeps us in-touch with contemporary culture but his laid-back approach and general lack of urgency often lands us in hot water. He must learn to cut out those naughty words he revels when listening to his favourite gangster rap records.

We have been likened (by me) to a boy band. Obviously I would be the lead singer, Niall the eye candy and Welshie the backing dancer who eventually ends up on Celebrity Love Island.

The show itself is a light-hearted affair. I like to think the vegs and our listeners often learn from our informed chats. And when I can get Niall and Welshie to understand simple quizzes like Mr and Mrs and Get Your Cards Right then it runs quite smoothly. Although they very rarely understand anything that doesn't involve bright colours and clear illustrations. For example I wrote a feature called Cockney or Mockney where Niall had to guess whether the cockney rhyming slang I was so expertly saying in my best cockney accent was authentic or just made up. I said Annika Rice meant advice (which is Mockney) and Niall asked what Annika Rice was, and whether it was a type of rice.

We will soon be entering the Student Radio Awards and currently I'm preparing our acceptance speech. Some call it arrogance, some call it blind faith, I call it be prepared.


So if you fancy hearing my dulcet tones and my fellow DJ's making Jade Goody look like the brain of Britain tune in every Thursday 8-10pm on Radio Lab 97.1fm and online at www.beds.ac.uk/radiolab/listen

The difficult second album......

Well, well, well, my dear blog fans it has been a while hasn't it? How are you? You're looking well. Did you manage to get rid of that rash? Yeah I had the same problem too.

If you were thorough enough to read the title (which often I’m not) you will have noticed that I have referenced a well-known syndrome that affects many rock stars like myself.

The world of music is cluttered with reminisces of the brave and the good who were hailed by critics as the greatest band in the world after a great debut album only to be forgotten after a long awaited and below-par second album.

Now let me stop you before you try to point out the obvious. I’m not a rock star! This is correct. I have never made an album! Semi-correct (I said correct!!)

But I do consider myself a blog star and I like to consider my first collection of blogs, which I’m sure The Times will chronicle when I die, as a fantastic debut album that will remain relevant for years to come.

In that context this blog is my comeback. My second album. The product of a year spent looking for inspiration through Class A drugs, sat in a studio in a Beverly Hills mansion paid for by my record label in a desperate attempt to recapture the magic and zest of my debut. (Obviously in this analogy Beverly Hills is Luton and Class A drugs are KFC)

So why the wait? Well I have tried writing before but it just didn’t feel right. A blog is an egocentric vehicle by which the writer assumes that what they have to say is worth reading and whilst famous scholars are worth listening to what do I have to say? Well nothing really.

Do I think a blog is a good showcase for my writing? Not really.

So why, Sam, do you propose to give these people the musing of a crazy man, that is clearly having a conversation with himself in his own blog, for free each week? Because my fans deserve it.

That’s right, I’m doing it for you people. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has a blog nowadays. Most are terrible, some are poorly written, some are boring, some are coherent but all are mundane. I’m coming back to save you.

This blog is to amuse and entertain. And before you say I should be charging for this gold I know, but I’m a charitable guy.

So now we have got the explanations out the way let’s get on to the juicy stuff. I’m now in a relationship (with a woman!). I’m part of the greatest University radio show that people have heard. And finally I’m experiencing living in a house full of males is the most harrowing experience of my life.

In the coming days and weeks I will be giving you the inside track of a student struggling to stay sane whilst the world goes mental around him.

If you’re like me and find the only cultural experience to be had in Luton is to sit in a secure room reading then stay tuned. Or if you’re more fortunate not to living in this god-forsaken place and want to rejoice in my misfortune read this blog.

Consider this the intro track on my new album. It’s short and a little strange (a bit like my Mum) but it should keep you itching for the return of your favourite, signature Holden tunes.