I've seen the future!

So I returned to blogland a couple of weeks ago and the post has received a luke warm reception. In fact some people hated it and wasted no time in telling me so. This criticism was hard to swallow. Sure, everybody has their critics, but when you are as alarmingly great as me it doesn't happen very often however I can accept it was justified.

A regular man gives up once he suffers a fall whereas a great man rises again. Just look at Jesus. He once wrote a shit post then came back with a funny one about being a student ambassador. No, wait, that example didn't quite work but you get the jist!

It has been strange at Uni recently. Lots of students have been beavering away to finish assignments whilst I have finished all of mine and received the best grade in the class. Apart from sniffing cocaine off supermodels' breasts on yachts in the south of France to celebrate my grades I have had pretty much nothing to do. I have felt a bit of a fraud. I mean everyone is working hard whilst I have been amusing myself by trawling check shirt internet forums. The lack of work has led to hours of boredom so it was nice this weekend to work my first day as a University Student Ambassador.

The job of a Student Ambassador is to assist with University Open Days and talk to prospective students about their own experiences. Obviously when they say your own experiences they aren't referring to swooning over the pretty girls that work at Topshop in the Mall, or drinking so much sambuca that you are sick all over the corridor of your flat and then hoovering up the sick so that now every time you use Henry it smells like you have invited a tramp in to your house and asked him to excrete Special Brew all over your carpet. We, the Ambassador crew, are there to give these youngsters a real insight into what it is like studying in Luton, without mentioning the stabbings.

The first open day of the year was yesterday. They were expecting around one thousand applicants and guests. Two thousand people turned up. Chaos ensued.

Now blog fans, let me set the scene for you. Firstly I was very tired. I had been to a Silent Disco the night before and had had 1 hours sleep before the 6.30am start. Was it worth it? Possibly. I mean silent disco are always as fun as they are strange. I love the surreal moment when you take the headphones off and everyone is still dancing in silence but the most amusing part is always watching everyone trying to mouth words to each other whilst they still have the headphones on. I can imagine its much the same at the Deaf Society annual disco, without the headphones of course.

Secondly I was given a University sweatshirt that was a size too small for me. I haven't worn clothes that tight since I refused to give up my Thunderbirds costume 15 years after it's purchase. I still don't believe there is anything wrong with wearing a 6 year old Virgil outfit to your 21st birthday Mum!

Finally we were made to wear ridiculous badges which read "Luton Harmony". Now I was not happy about this for two reasons. The first, it rubbed against my nipple. The second, I believe the slogan displayed on the badge is a lie. Lets face it, the only way harmony in Luton could be achieved is if a nuclear bomb was dropped on it. Even then I have my doubts. Like cockroaches, half the population would survive. Their skin, harden from years of smoking and drinking white spirits, would act as some kind of armour. All we would end up with is a pool of melted Elizabeth Duke jewellery.

So I'm there, struggling already, hoping that my first time would be quick and painless (yes I'm still talking about the Open Day) and then I am faced with a barrage of fresh faced, inquisitive youngsters, grilling me about everything from nightlife to course modules, from employment rates to sports teams and from toilet directions to enquiries on where I got my lovely sweatshirt.

If truth be told I enjoyed it. I revelled in talking about myself for hours. I loved eating the free sandwiches and coffee meant for the visitors. And I took pleasure in seeing the future students of the University of Bedfordshire.

I've seen the future and it looks good. I'm not just talking about the pretty girls or the unattractive men that will prove no competition when it comes to winning the hearts of previously mentioned pretty girls, but I'm referring to their impressive minds. They seem keen, intelligent, inquistive and talented. It looks as though I may finally have some competition on the blogging front next year. I can't afford to have many 'Back with a vengeance!'moments. Blog fans, from this day forward, I promise I will never let you down again!